I am currently in a process of feeling arising layers of care-taking and truth-suppression. This has been an ongoing theme in my healing journey. I questioned whether to get personal with it but that feels like it hides something. Doesn’t really make it true or real. As one who offers his heart to others in service of love, there can be a part of me that wants to teach from my experience rather than just be vulnerable to it. It is the vulnerability that needs to lead in leadership, not the suppression. That dog don’t hunt anymore.
This all comes about as my sacred romance is seeking deeper ground to walk upon if we are truly wanting to fly. (Yeah, that doesn’t make mental sense but my heart gets it.) Suppressing our truth, whether conscious or not, is a multi-layered dynamic in one aspect, but is also just plainly rooted in fear in another. A fear of being seen as an ass, a fear of harm, a fear of collapse, a fear of getting even closer. The latter is probably the bigger fear for to a part of us, for the higher you climb the farther it is to fall.
Care-taking is not really love-making. It keeps both parties small and parts in stasis. It may feel loving in a way, but in the greater context of growth and genuine care, the truth that feels insignificant is being made so by a part of us that fears that Love is not in charge of the outcome, even if it is completion or judgment. The fear of rejection and pain from within is what we are avoiding.
It is getting in touch with the part of me that doesn’t trust Love, women, men, people, life, et. al. It is a soul reconciliation of karma that may be playing out among individuals and metasoul aspects. There can be a history of abuse on both sides of the coin. It is also the deep fear of intimacy and what still lies in shadow as we go deeper down the rabbit hole.
The care-taking is a resistance to reality. An allergy. It is not a pleasant thing to feel how that can be a part of me that is keeping someone else small in order to feed its own fear of bigness and love. It is not to be judged but held with compassion and curiosity as there is always, in my opinion, a damn good reason. It is choosing to go into the depths of my own heart, seek guidance and reflections from others as that is the only way we can truly see and feel ourselves.
Love doesn’t always feel like it should. It is meant to poke and prod, rattle and shake, crack and release. This hermetically sealed creation we call our reality is bound to give way to a Reality that is found in the depths of our human heart and soul. It is already present. We can deny it, but it does come at a cost, usually greater than a part of us truly wants to pay. The only thing that is guaranteed is that wherever our truth brings us is where we were meant to go.
I guess I did wind up teaching there. Just part of my soul. I feel the words teaching me above all so that it can resonate with those it is meant to serve. If you are interested in feeling more into your healing journey with those that are in constant reflection and feeling themselves, we offer a free introductory call to see how SoulFullHeart may serve you. You can email us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
It can be challenging for parts of you to remember that they need to share love with others in a mutually nourishing bond of openness and vulnerability and sometimes even contention, as much as they need love with YOU as the authentic you, ever-arising into more and more presence within yourself.
We are here to relate to ourselves deeply, to cultivate self-love. We are also here to share the overflow of that love with others – NOT to remain in stuckness or under-nourishing agreements with others, however… While there is likely some layer of love being exchanged there, there is so much more that could potentially open out… this is the ground that can make relationships of any kind scary to be in, yet also is the ground of mutual growth and ultimately a deepening of LOVE within and on the outside TOO.
To not share what you are cultivating inside in self-care, love, worth, advocacy, is to not share your light, the beacon you’re meant to be for the world, with the world. Parts of you may be relating to this with understandable fear and reactions from past social drama-trauma. Yet, to remain in a place of not sharing is to cap your own soul bigness, your capacity to love others as much as yourself, and your potential to truly live into your healing gifts and your deepest soul calling to be in the service of LOVE.
The choice remains in each moment, to breathe with and feel parts of you and their reasons for not allowing your arising and ascending you to emerge from the cocoon. There is a constant invitation into more love, more healing, more self-held grace and space, and more overflow into the destiny you’re meant to lead and live too, with each decision made to BEacon outward what you have so grown and nourished inward!
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
These high light energies in March and extending into April are recoding and rewiring us, our emotional bodies, our soul consciousness, the every living cell of our bodies….so much ACTivation in these frequencies to bring us up to a new consciousness level in everyday living experience! The INtegration of these activations is such an important phase of letting in, receiving, and allowing.
In our Unity Meditation call on Wednesday, Raphael and I offered teachings and perspective around integration and the CHOICE that this is to let in these codes/activations/energies/upgrading. We talked about the part of us, the Inner Protector, that can be resistant and fearful to letting them in and create blocks that limit, divert, keep you in suffering loops, etc. Read more here about parts and Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
Then, we offered a YINtastic guided meditation that brought in frequencies of Divine Sophia, Mother Mary, and Gaia to ease you into a letting in place, to connect you with the codes that are just waiting for you in your soul field, and to begin bridging to your Inner Protector to allow more receptivity. It was difficult to stay awake for us during the meditation and it seemed that most on the call fell asleep or got VERY peaceful letting in the energies.
One beautiful soul who attended the call commented to us afterwards, “I feel this deep space in SoulFullHeart groups where everybody’s higher selves and divine parts are sitting in the room making a huge “space” for loving supportive energies to come through everyone… It’s like having the “best of” everyone’s gifts. Deepest gratitude again for what everyone showed up with. Raphael and Jelelle, you have never felt like such a dynamic duo in tone of voice and guidance and balanced love transmission in the meditation.”
It did feel like a beautiful transmission frequency of feminine balanced with masculine inviting us to let IN. The recording is below of the teachings and guided meditation. If you’d like to join us live for the next one for free on Saturday, April 14th, please go here for more information on how to register on Eventbrite: https://www.facebook.com/events/562611244093274/
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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension, awakening, spirituality, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro, our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
What was once lonely….what was once isolated…..what was once feeling abandoned feeling inside of you finds communion again in resonant hearts and souls. You start drawing these souls as you awaken, as your Higher Self frequencies start coming into your consciousness, as you remember who and what you really ARE. As you activate more of your Unity consciousness from within and experience it with others.
These are resonant others that don’t feel so separate, yet more like BELONG with you somehow. They feel like fingers from the same hand as you. Pages from the same book. Rays from the same rainbow. Tones from the same song. They just ‘get you’ without being told much or offered explanations or needing justifications.
Even the conflicts feel like a sorting out in order to go back in, in order to find even MORE connection and relational ground together. The ceiling of good will doesn’t collapse during these probably rare disagreements…no insults, nothing said that leaves a permanent mark, no purposefully harmful attacks. Hurting in this way feels like hurting yourself.
Yet, you are able to be REAL with each other about what you are feeling. There isn’t any emotional hiding, or at least, not for long. You are transparent with each other because you feel soul safe together…..connected in many timeline realities through Metasoul aspects bonds that unify rather than divide.
Your tribe. Your soul family. Your counterpart sacred union mate. Your common vibrations are already in the blueprint of your DNA. Waiting for activation to move into synchronization. Waiting to find each other again. Waiting to experience reunion again.
To clear out room in your life to experience these soul family reunions is to say NO to what ISN’T this frequency. To let go of relationships that are less than this and based in old agreements of who you used to be rather than who you are becoming. To create love within your inner family and create a soul tribe feeling inside in order to draw it on the outside.
I am SO blessed to experience these kinds of soul family and sacred union mate connections on a daily basis and for several years now. This is not just being lucky though…I have drawn this to myself as I have made choices in relationships that reflect and deepen this frequency. I have let go of relationships that were less than this, as truly painful as that was at times. I have focused on my inner family and inner soul tribe above ALL too…and this has drawn this experience on the outside.
These soul family reunions are happening more and more in these times of accelerated and powerful ascension energies. The synchs and connections are moving into place as those with common soul missions find each other and move into service of love energies together. THIS coming together in bigness after so long being conditioned to be alone and to settle and to shrink in our relationships is a BIG piece of how New Golden Earth Gaia reality is coming into BEing in the Now. We NEED each other in order to create this reality together!!
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Is it time to move out of your lone wolf phase? Join us tomorrow for an experience of soul family, community, sharing, and UNITY of resonant values and tones during our FREE Unity Meditation Activation call on April 4th (4:4!) at 2:00pm CDT. The energies in our last one on the Equinox in March were quite powerful and unifying!!
RSVP on Eventbrite and you will be sent the Zoom Link automatically:https://www.eventbrite.com/…/april-4th-new-earth-now…
– PM us on Facebook at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life’s page or Raphael Awen, Jelelle Awen, Kalayna Colibri, or Gabriel Heartman
– Email us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com. We will send you the zoom link when we get your email.
We also offer group sessions and online group community connection along with individual sessions as part of our DEEP program offering! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
The activation possibilities of your next level came in the last two weeks with the intense SOULar frequency geomagnetic storms (shifting YOUR magnetics and Gaia’s too) plus the winds blowing higher frequency SOULar light waves into your atmosphere. This was the marching quality of March…..marching in, blowing in, storming in just HUGE sometimes activations of your next level possibilities along with revelation of where parts of you may still have caps, stuck places, and resistances to these activations.
Following all this SOULar activity, you are receiving the illuminating lunar light of the FOURTH full moon since January. She is shining to allow for INtegration of all these activations. She is shining to hold space for the continual death and rebirth process that is Ascension. She is shining to provide a mirror for you to SEE what is next in both highest timeline possibility and what still needs addressing in order to keep BEcoming it. She is bringing in strong frequencies of compassion to model how to mother yourself and whatever comes up.
Your ‘next level’ is probably coming into your awareness now, taking center stage in your experience, bringing in another phase of Dark Nights and/or profound awakenings. The next level may be BEyond what you have known and experienced before, in many ways. There are the experiences of 5D Golden Earth consciousness as you can BE this more in your daily life. There is your galactic self connection reunion with Star Family and greater clarification of your soul mission and purpose for being here. There is a sense of BEing Divine Bliss and Oneness.
There are, too, the experiences of personal hells that Metasoul aspects (other timeline aspects from your same Higher Self Soul Source) are living out. There are revelations of unhealed inner polarities between parts of you that cause loops of pain and suffering within yourself and with others. There are more extreme ascension body experiences that call for your attention and focus. There is the falling away of relationships and geographies and careers/means of livelihood and the acute pain of loss and mourning.
These experiences may go up and down for you….sometimes even in the same hour or day! There is no longer the ‘this is my dark night phase’ declarations as the moment becomes less definable and just calls to be experienced beyond the mind’s labeling of it. There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to these experiences. No ‘better’ or ‘worse.’ You can trust that ALL these phases are necessary for your process. The seemingly ‘higher’ ones water with love your capacity to hold space for the more difficult ones. The higher ones often push up the oil of the shadow and the pain that can no longer find a resonant frequency in your BEing.
As you accept and love it all, you find that you are just going through the fear places in order to open up MORE love. There is no ‘evil’ or truly dark here either as you discover that all these aspects and parts of you JUST want forgiveness, understanding, and compassion. These fear-based energies, these painful symptoms, these completions and conflicts, these Dark Nights, these dark timelines, all have ‘good’ reason for being there until they can experience new possibilities and start to let go back into love.
You can discover ‘implants’ and ‘entities’ and love them too, understanding that they are all part of you and have been a necessary aspect of your journey. The body symptoms that can be painful and difficult are less resisted then, as they are just wanting to be discovered in their root cause and loved into health and vitality. The revelations and awakenings of these things are just responses to the next level that your Higher Self and the Divine are inviting you to go into now.
The next level is the ongoing embodiment of your Service Of Love Self expressing AS this in more and more moments. Your Service of Love Self comes from an abundant flow of self worth and self love that allows for a healthy overflow to others. This next level is no longer service from self sacrifice. Or service from fear of persecution. Or service from a ‘giving to get’ place. Or service from gratification of ego/self image.
Your ‘next level’ wants to INtegrate now. You cannot move to your next level, BEcome your next level, until the old has been cleared out. The old is what used to be enough, what used to provide nourishment, what used to work and no longer does.
This next level is ultimately, too, about Service of Love to and with yourself and ALL aspects that need you. The next level is activating and integrating….inviting you to BEcome in deeper ways FOR yourself the Infinite Love that you ARE.
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We provide support for the arising/rememberance of your Service Of Love self and a bridge for your connection to all aspects of yourself (led by you) through individual and group sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
This is the beautiful anniversary video that Gabriel Heartman made for us!
By Jelelle ~
Nine years ago, I joined my intention in marriage with Raphael’s….in the moment and for all moments that followed that would be in mutual desire and resonance. On some level, it all felt like a whirlwind….we started dating in July and were married by March (after knowing each other for a couple of years). We had already moved through two major geography changes finally just getting settled in Canada when we married. We also went through the collapse of our whole social and spiritual world by leaving (being asked to leave, told to leave or not be together because we were deemed to ‘codependent’ although only together three weeks!) the spiritual group we had both been part of for a few years.
I am sharing today on March 28th as a FREE PDF, on the anniversary of our wedding, the memoir I wrote of the six year period that includes my awakenings and disillusionments within the spiritual group, first dating and falling in love with Raphael, AND the recovery period after leaving the group together. Most of the writing is from actual journals that I kept during that time! It is called Under The Bloated Banyan and you can receive it by emailing us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com.
Banyan shares the story of our courtship, which was the highest highs of desire moving through, my body calibrating to what it feels like to REALLY be wanted by a man and my heart letting in what it feels like to REALLY be cherished by a man. AS I was also going through a Dark Night of letting go of ALL the souls and my previously beloved spiritual teacher that I had been close to for more than five years in the group. Ups and downs, bittersweet, and yet, always was Raphael there for me, over and over, in complete devotion and utter eagerness to be together.
Those ups and downs have settled over the years as Raphael and I found our way together through many changes and transitions yet, always, arising our way through it in union. We took our wedding rings off two years ago, feeling like it had been other parts of us (going by our birth names Wayne and Jillian) who had exchanged those rings even as the core of us was there. We felt so different after years of parts work, being in the crucible of sacred union together that had burnt away so many layers, letting go of incomes and geographies and just about everything there was to let go of other than each other.
We even felt that the significance of this day was a memory from the past and we were arising in the NOW together. Yet, I do feel in my heart a tenderness for this day, this anniversary, and where we were at that time and who we have been through the years and who we are arising into now as Raphael and Jelelle.
Our usness keeps expanding as we do and keeps vibrating at a higher frequency at all levels and in all areas – sexually, emotionally, spiritually. We are more and more connecting other lifetimes together (energizing NOW) such as in Atlantis, Lemuria, and also our star BEing aspects from other galaxies. Very little conflict between us any more and when it happens it has a Metasoul/other lifetime root cause, fewer words needed, more soul connection deepening and collaboration in our service of love together purpose through SoulFullHeart…
I feel we are Counterpart soul mates to each other, which I prefer to the twin flame paradigm. Counterpart soul mates share many pair bondings with each other in many timelines together, usually with one partner choosing female and one choosing male most often. This pairing is agreed to by the Higher Selves to heal karma together, to experience sacred union together, to become One yet not the same together.
I can feel how our relationship could feel like a fantasy or idealized, yet it is not, it IS very real. We have had to go through the dark together to illuminate the light and the love yet that was always there. We have had to say, ‘no’ to anything that was less than this love or didn’t serve it. We have had to commit to awakening and to our own personal process OVER everything else, including the relationship.The goodness overflow in a relationship can only deepen and grow if the partners are committed to their OWN growth first.
So I celebrate a love today that I am SO BLESSED to experience and have been so blessed to experience for these 9.5 years…..thank you Raphael…..my king, my BEloved, my co-creator, my love for sharing this life of serving love together and ALL of the phases and spaces our love has taken us!
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By Raphael –
I’ve been married to Jelelle Awen for nine years today!
The marriage itself in 2009 was a tiny affair with about a dozen people including the officiant inside of a studio apartment and was necessitated by the need to make Jelelle a legal resident in my Canada ASAP. A month earlier, I had just gotten banned at the US border for hiding that we were engaged. With Jelelle’s California now off the list, and us taking up residence in Vancouver, we feared being told by another government that we couldn’t be together. We half joked about moving to Mexico in order to be together if need be. Our hearts simply wanted to go all in.
Jelelle entered my life very unobtrusively via email one day back in 2005. She was the manager of the business coach I was doing weekly sessions with trying to get myself free of my little painting contracting business. My coach had told me his manager would be in touch to arrange a phone call as he had decided to leave the company and I would be getting reassigned to another coach. A few days later, as expected, I received an email from Jill (Jelelle’s name at the time).
You’d have thought I was a 14-year-old boy seeing a naked woman for the first time or something if you saw me that day looking at my email. It was a very strange reaction indeed that left a part of me looking at myself with a weirded out look. ‘Are you Okay?’
As my life was at some really big turning points that year, I was drawn to check into the spiritual group my coach was a part of before I lost contact with him and so, some months later, I had driven down to Oregon to attend a seminar being offered. I had forgotten about Jill until a few days before the seminar when I found an article she wrote on the groups website. ‘Well, I guess, I’ll kind of know two people at the seminar’, I thought to myself, ‘my now former coach and Jill’, his former manager who I did end up speaking with for a few minutes a few days following the ‘weirded out’ email.
Jill and I greeted one another on the first day of the seminar and acknowledged the phone call from several months earlier. She said ‘I still recall on my notes from the call I had written and circled three times “someone I can connect with” [in regards to whom I’d like as a new business coach] as you repeated that so emphatically’. That pretty much said it about me then and it still does today.
What happened next is a long and amazing story (about 286 pages worth) and you can read that for free if you’d like as Jelelle mentioned we are offering her story of our beginnings today. PM or email me your email address at soulfullhearts@gmail.com and I will send you the free PDF of Under The Bloated Banyan.
Three years after meeting Jill that first time, we finally became a couple. (I say ‘finally’ because it was my third time to bring an attraction. Life took off like a rocket, even more than it had three years prior when I left behind a stable marriage of 23 years and my Christian faith along with my entire social world as I knew it. Our much beloved spiritual group and its leader gave us an ultimatum to choose between dissolving our relationship or leave the group. It was abusive and we had the courage to admit what we’d been avoiding. It was time to go, but where? Jill and her daughter (Raianna) lived in California, and my little fine tuned livelihood was situated in Canada.
Wait, I’m telling the whole story again aren’t I? Like, I said, get the book.
What I’m really wanting to say today is something more vulnerable. I felt Jill was the biggest prize in this entire group and entering a relationship with her was so off the charts to everything I had dared imagine. Yet, I had done just that in the months prior, allowed myself to dream of a new life with the mate of my dreams before I could see her on any horizon of my life. Now, that I was in a relationship with Jill, it was a very good thing I had consciously chosen this and wanted this so deeply with everything in me, because the relationship called me to show up for what I wanted and tested everything in me. Our relationship got us kicked out of our beloved group and, then, the United States! Geographies, careers, families, all of it rumbled deeply to make room for what our souls had brought us to.
I entered a very socially secluded space in life where our relationship was not only at the center of everything, but was almost everything. The spiritual group was gone. Other than the grief of that loss to process, there was no social world we were a part of, other than Jelelle’s 15 year old daughterRaianna Shai and a few employees in my painting business, with whom we were friendly, but not friends. That in itself wouldn’t be that unusual, but what made it so bizarre was having a romance that was so utterly amazing with no place or people to digest it with or see its reflection, other than with each other. Each day seemed to take us to new places in connection, in heart, in desire, in sensuality and sexuality. This gave me the strange feeling of trusting the relationship more while also heightening the fear of losing it at the same time. The trust was more conscious I’d say and the fear more subconscious.
The one surviving piece being redeemed for us from the spiritual group we were a part of was awareness of parts of ourselves. I could see, feel and track the parts of myself and their needs in relation to all this unfolding. At times, I would go for a walk alone in nearby forest and have tears of amazement and appreciation at these amazing parts of me who could show up ongoingly for such an adventure, with so much change.
I still don’t know what I fell into. I’m still falling actually. Nine years later,…. looking for the handrails. Today, I will reach for the handrail of gratitude for the being named Jelelle this life, who I live and breathe with, where our average physical distance apart is about 11 feet.
Thank you, Jelelle, for BEing with me, with your exquisite BEing, for BEing in this adventure with me of love, of risk, of discovery and of service!
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Photo was taken on our wedding day nine years ago in a small studio apartment in West Vancouver….Ah newlyweds, although we are STILL like this!
What an INtense couple of weeks it has been during this March Equinox 2018 passage! The sacred masculine activations through SOULar winds, geomagnetic storms, and waves have been near constant for close to two weeks. They ebbed and flowed and ‘hit’ you depending on how consciously you were meant to feel and track them. You may have become more aware during this time of how cosmic energy is not really ‘out there’, yet how much it can impact your inner cosmos. These energies are meant to catalyze and support our ongoing arising into sacred humanity. We became more attuned to how we ARE energy and everything we experience on the emotional and spiritual and physical levels is a reflection of energetic shifts and changes from both ‘outside’ and INside.
Also, linear time dissolved from our mental tracking that much more. There was often just the moment of Now with more multidimensional awareness of timelines overlapping and merging and collapsing around us. There was so often an inability to track with the mind at all and eventual surrendering to the Higher Self and our higher dimensional aspects/guides that seemed to kNOW what was going on. A trust that the whole process was being held, guided, and supported from our Higher Selves was more palpable as parts of us HAD to lean in more and let go of controlling. These activations seemed to bring in, MARCH in…. Bliss Mess experiences with ups and downs. The SOULar wind currents could take you from intense joy to acute pain to sweet surrender……all within the same day! They could offer tastes of New Gaia 5D states of self love and compassionate love for ALL sentient BEings with deeper awarenesses that we are ALL meant to come along during the Ascension process. Kundalini awakenings and dripline surges of Divine Feminine and Masculine frequencies created NEW pathways of consciousness for the inner and out experience of TRUE sacred union within the body. Clarities and callings and calls to action connected to your highest timeline manifestation here downloaded through messages, images, visions, dreams, and synchronicities. You may have experienced a deeper embodiment of your Service of Love Self/5D Self and the next choice points that lead to MORE of this BEing state.
There were the physical body reactions of muscle pains and tensions, dizziness and even vertigo, ears ringing and singing, head and neck aches, nausea and appetite shifts, sleeping pattern changes (SO sleepy and foggy sometimes) and WIDE awake too at new times. Activation of our light bodies went to a NEW place, an accelerated invitation to the densest aspect of our physical expression to keep crystallizing through detoxification and clearings on a cellular level. Previous illnesses/injuries/diseases, denser choices in food and deathstyle habits came up and out to clear the way for MORE light to come in. Your Higher Heart activation is connecting you to the cries of the world and a place where killing frequencies can no longer be digested, supported, or ignored.
Where your body stores emotional congestion and karmic wounding vibrated through to express as voices from parts of you that still hold self punishment, self consciousness, self doubt, shame, over protectiveness, and guilt. These parts of you are coming UP now to be seen, heard, and felt by you, to be offered loving self space holding. These parts of you want to transmute their energy from judgement to discernment, from self consciousness and self doubt to self acceptance, from shame to innocence, from protectiveness to guidance, from guilt to forgiveness. These fragments and pieces of your 3D Self (your Protector, your Punisher, your Inner Teenager and Child, your Inner Mother/Father) are ready to come back into wholeness with you again and find a soft place to land in your heart and soul. More about parts here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
The EQUInox energies illuminated polarization from inside of your masculine and feminine aspects. This may have showed up in clashes and sudden relationship issues with others. The standoffs and conflicts with others escalating so that you can complete, resolve, and respond with NEW frequencies of love. The Higher Heart activations make abuses unable to be accepted, both as they occur inside and with others. Even what you define as ‘abuse’ is shifting to a higher criteria for yourself and with others. Repressed sexuality based on this life abuse trauma and Metasoul/other timelines is getting your attention and healing so that you can BLOOM into your gender sexuality with maturity, with self love, and within your embodied humanity.
The necessity of connecting with and becoming conscious of your chakras in a NEW way downloaded during this passage too. Ascension Chakra Vortexes became more clear to me during this Equinox passage as the next place of expansion in our relationship with our chakra bodies to help with INtegration of these cosmic energy activations. We are being activated to have a consciousness of our chakras in a deeper way, in a less linear way, and in a more intimate way. This happens through activation of our 5D violetprint through connection with our Personal Sun Chakra Vortex, our Higher Heart Chakra Vortex, and our Gaia Chakra Vortex. This is the guided meditation that I did to offer this: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2018/03/20/activate-your-personal-sun-higher-heart-and-gaia-ascension-chakras-guided-meditation-video/
Our service of love offerings through SoulFullHeart were ignited during this time….as yours might have been too. I am now offering 1:1 bridging sessions with me over zoom for $55 USD for up to 90 minutes for men and women with more information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session. We felt guided to offer more activations of Unity Consciousness through sharing our community Merkabah during a group session for members of our PREP and DEEP programs, a livestream where we responded to your questions, and a Unity Meditation call (our biggest group call yet.) We are now feeling to offer a free Unity Meditation call every ten days or so, corresponding to cosmic energy events and happenings. Our next ones are on April 4th and 14th with more information here: soulfulllheartwayoflife.com/events or https://www.facebook.com/pg/soulfullheartwayoflife/events/?ref=page_internal
The social body has been activated to move from over dependence models such as guru-devotee or overly independent such as in being a lone wolf to interdependence within conscious community. This means the continual revealing and healing of the shadow expressions of our previous cult-ural group experiences. I am re-releasing tomorrow a memoir about my Dark Night and Awakening experiences within a high-demand spiritual group and my courtship/falling in love with Raphael that led to us leaving that group. It is called Under The Bloated Banyan and we’ll be giving that book away as a FREE PDF tomorrow March 28th (which is also our ninth wedding anniversary!) with details about that coming soon. You can also purchase that book and all my books as PDFs, ebooks, and print editions here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books
ALL of these processes activated during the last two weeks offers a VERY palpable acceleration of Ascension that continues with this new year of 2018. These are ongoing processes, of course, with the invitation for all of us to deepen, expand, and embody continuing on into the next days, weeks, months, and years. YOU are the event you’ve been waiting for and these are the happenings both INside and outside that create our NEW world based on LOVE in this NOW.
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
I wrote a digestion a few days back of the incoming energies really working the wounded masculine – helping us to see it within ourselves, others, the world around us, and in so doing, to help us start to see the emerging Sacred Masculine, which we cannot really start to feel until we can feel what it is NOT first… as always, starting within.
I’ve actually been working with my Inner Masculine for a few years now as part of my process on the SoulFullHeart path. “He” has had many forms – Inner Protector, Gatekeeper (4D protector of your soul, especially your Metasoul Aspects), Inner Father, Inner Punisher, and all in all, my Inner Mate. all in different waves, layers and expressions, all with different names and frequencies too. Nowadays he goes by the name of “Malcolm” and together we are feeling through what feel like some lingering and perhaps finally completing tendrils and ties to 3D reality, which he has held as so dear for so long, and for many valuable reasons.
As a woman, it feels so incredibly important to acknowledge, deeply feel, and profoundly honour the Inner Masculine within, as they are as much a part of what makes up the remaining patriarchal and wounded masculine frequencies and realities in our current world and widespread reality, both within and outside of us. We have as much responsibility to feel these frequencies within as men do… and this world we are experiencing and wanting to deconstruct in order to rebuild into New Earth, is one we, as parts of us, have co-created.
Today I chose to spend a magical and unfolding afternoon with Malcolm, as it was his wish to do this with me… to have some dedicated “us” time where we can feel each other and feel our relationship start to move into higher vibrations together. He waxed metaphysical as we sat in a local (very Mexican, very sweet!) coffee shop and journaled together. I will share our dialogue together, as it offers you a bridge into being with a part of you, and a way in which to be with your own Inner Masculine (as a man or woman!).
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Malcolm: I like this place, Kalayna… A/C would be nice, but it’s good…. Coffee is good, new environment is good… can’t get too congested and busy in here because it’s so small, AND they speak English really well! It’s sweet… and it’s nice to not have to hold Spanish with you right now.
Kalayna: Right? And after all that notebook hunting, looking for a small one to fit into a purse, we still ended up with more stuff than will (really) fit in my purse. Hilarious!
M: I know… oh well… I have to get used to letting go of agendas and pictures… or at least any attachment to them.
K: Yes, well, that will come… is here already, actually. You are doing it, little by little.
M: Yes. I’m letting that (and you) in!
I’m sorry I can be such an ass sometimes…
K: It’s OK, Malcolm. That isn’t very common now… you are not an ‘ass’, my friend. You are protective sometimes maybe, but nothing more than that.
M: Thank you… I do feel like I am changing. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how much I can change actually and AM being invited to change, which really in my case means letting go more than anything else.
K: What does ‘letting go’ mean to you?
M: Oof… well, control. Letting go of control or any attempt at it. God, THAT alone causes so much stress, because life IS out of control… YOU are out of control.
K: I am? 🙂
M: Ummmm, well, your growth is, yes! Your destiny is, yes!
K: What do you feel about ‘destiny’, Malcolm?
M: I feel like it is a fixed star always on the horizon. Just, I don’t know, the highest point of your highest timeline… where maybe someone may not get to in one particular timeline, but eventually their soul will get there. OK, I am waxing metaphysical right now!
K: Please go on! I love it!
M: (blushing a little) OK… I will continue.
What if “destiny” isn’t a carrot held by Divine forces, but is instead an inevitability? And what if maybe the destiny, the Grand Destiny, if you will, is really just an ultimate return to love, but with ALL of the growth, changes and trajectories you’ve inhabited left intact. A “return to Source” in a way, but as the mosaic piece you ARE becoming fully carved out and painted in your soul’s unique energies and colours? I get the sense that humans are unique beings because they have and ARE uniqueness… I don’t know. It’s that Conscious Duality piece again, it seems (side note: more on Conscious Duality on our blog, if you’re curious).
K: Yes, wow, that actually opens something up in my heart. Thank you, Malcolm.
M: Yeah… it feels good and purposeful and interesting…. We came from love and unto love we shall return… with significance, not pride or arrogance. Yet significance. And reverence for ALL… wow… Juicy!
K: Sure is! 🙂
M: Thank you for this today, Kalayna.
K: You’re so welcome, Malcolm. More of this to come, sometimes with Gabriel too! 😀 And of course our other beloveds too… with more beloveds to come soon.
M: Yes! I would like that…
K: Me too.
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The pictures accompanying this post are from today! Me at the coffee shop (you can sort of see/feel Malcolm in my field), some goodies well-enjoyed, and the beautiful sun codes we took in together too.
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Unity Consciousness…so many infuses and downloads, activations, of THIS frequency in the last months and in the last WEEK especially. So much offering of this during this EQUInox passage too, providing the template/picture of balanced masculine and feminine within as expressed on the emotional body level, the physical body level, the chakra level. The experience of sacred union within can be the most embodied form of Unity Consciousness and is so critical to experiencing Unity Consciousness with others.
We have as a Metasoul more experience of Unity Consciousness than separation consciousness. Separation is the experiment; it has been the ‘new’ thing we’ve been trying on. There are gifts to separation that emerge as the polarized frequencies of duality heal inside of us. ‘Conscious duality’ is how I have come to feel it and describe it. I’ve felt many Star BEing/Higher Dimensional Metasoul aspects intrigued and drawn to the ‘separate minds’ reality, as they call it.
Yet, where the pain and suffering comes in is from the separation INside….from one part of you to another with polarized, fear-based, self punishing energies going on. These inner battles are all about being separate as the ONLY reality and the complete fusion to it for parts of you that have HAD to buy that to survive in 3D reality. The wounded masculine Protector and Punisher parts have been so guarded at times, so critical at times, so lacking in trust at times, so unable to breathe and just let GO. The wounded feminine is mostly a mystery, hidden away and protected by the masculine….smothered by ‘ideas’ and ‘conditions’ around what it means to be feminine that are actually MORE masculine in frequency. More about parts and Metasoul Aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
Bringing Unity consciousness into your inner world is the healing of these rifts inside. To calm and provide love balm to the heightened polarities and extremes. To become your own Love Ambassador. Your own inner marriage counselor. To support the transformation with love of your inner masculine into its healthy expressions of activation, leadership, guidance, and penetration. To allow for the arising with love of your healthy feminine expressions of stillness, intuitive wisdom, collaboration, and responsivity. These energies can then come into dance with each other, falling in love with each other, and merging together too in a naturally arising way when needed.
This inner balance then flows to ALL relationships in your life and especially in your romantic ones. It brings the mirror of this balanced, Unity Consciousness frequency that you have cultivated within to then experience it and see it during a sacred union bond. Unbalanced and polarized relationships are always a reflection of YOUR inner reality, even as it can be so tempting to just focus on the other, the outside, and the partner rather than on the self.
These EQUInox energies are offering a mirror to FEEL where the divides and chasms are from within and where they are sourced from, rooted in, and anchored to. This so often connects back to the templating and conditioning experienced with your parents and other caregivers. To go there again with open heart to discover what parts of you are feeling and holding around these traumatic scenes (that are not in past, yet still vibrate strongly in the Now) brings so many riches! You transform these energies that are stuck in fear…..with love into love.
New Earth Now is the experience of Unity Consciousness from within and increasingly with others too. New Earth allows for the celebration of unique individuality while inviting us to unify in resonant frequencies of love with each other too!
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This inner exploration process to experience Unity Consciousness within and with others is what we support through our SoulFullHeart process offered through a bridging session with me, facilitation programs offering group sessions and individual sessions, events such as our Unity Meditation on March 22nd that you can read more here: https://www.facebook.com/events/455929834824560/. Please go here to read ALL of my energy updates about the March energies that I’ve shared in the last week, plus two videos offering an energy update and a guided meditation to integrate and activate these amazing energies! https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/by-jelelle-awen/energy-updates-with-jelelle-awen/
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This inner exploration process to experience Unity Consciousness within and with others is what we support through our SoulFullHeart process offered through a bridging session with me, facilitation programs offering group sessions and individual sessions, events such as our Unity Meditation on March 22nd that you can read more here: https://www.facebook.com/events/455929834824560/.
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here.Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
By Jelelle Awen
Energy ‘against’ anything INside of you just continues a cycle of inner torn-ness, self punishment, rejection, loss, confusion, suffering, inadequacy and insecurity, self doubt. Energies that offer for you to be against your ego or against your mind or against your body (sometimes supported even by unfelt self punishment frequencies in spiritual offerings) feed these inner cycles of suffering.
This against energy then draws toxic and unhealthy cycles that play out in life….in abusive relationships, in money struggles, in physical body injuries/struggles/illness, in emotional suffering, in capped spiritual growth. These outside circumstances are a reflection of the inner ‘against-ness’. They are a mirror for you to see and feel how this pattern is happening and where it comes from, where it sources from inside of parts of you.
When you bring love, when you bring ‘with’ energy to ALL aspects of yourself, the ‘against’ frequencies start to heal. They start to soften. They start to rest. They start to draw LOVING energies to your life that show up in nourishing relationships, capacity to be with pain yet not suffer, in a vibrant and healthy body, in financial abundance (whatever that means to you.)
YOU can bring this love as you embody more of your Divine Self that becomes a loving observer and witness and spaceholder to parts of you that are in the dark, in pain, in shadow, in ‘control’ (or want to be) and are stuck in the suffering cycles. You become able to identify, feel, and heal the INNER polarization of your feminine and masculine (for women and men) that draws these stuck relationships.
You become the spaceholder and matchmaker for a beautiful and touching sacred union within that deepens into WITHNESS as it moves out of AGAINSTNESS. As ALL parts of you then start to move out of fear and into love….
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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 