Tag: parts work

Love The Dark Into Light

Published on by Raianna Shai6 Comments

By Raianna Shai

Loving yourself is so much easier said than done. You can have the knowledge that you are a good person and that you deserve the world while a part of you feels the complete opposite.

Sometimes a movie and treats can help. Or a good cry and a big hug. Sometimes you just need to talk or write it out. Sometimes just some sleep will help you gain a new perspective.

But other times it’s not that easy. There are phases and moments that feel like a heavy fog is hanging down on you. Like you’ll never feel the same again or you don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t have any one-size fits all answers for this but what I can say from experience is the importance of feeling. Without shame or guilt if you can. Let the tears flow, let the unworthiness surface. Cry until your head hurts or scream until you lose your voice. Write until your hand cramps and talk until there’s only you left to listen.

“…tears water the foundation of new growth…”

These parts of you that feel heavy and sad and unlovable have just as much a right to be felt and heard as the parts of you that feel joy and happiness. These are the parts and the processes that allow you to feel love and joy even deeper. These are the very furthest corners of your heart and soul – the ones that need the most love and light.

Then watch as you blossom into something new. Watch as the world around you turns from gray to a kaleidoscope of colours. Watch the little things you notice about people – the little habits they don’t even notice themselves. Feel your heart start to bubble with joy when you see your loved ones smile. Notice those dark corners start to let in the light and realize what you’ve known all along – that they are beautiful and lovable and deserve the world.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Beltane Blessings & Celebrations Of Love & Healing

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Solais

Happy Beltane to you ALL… this day is a day to begin anew, to remember what you are worth as man or woman, to be in the ache of your springtime renewal inside, that wants and waits to share and BE with a mate that loves and cherishes you as much as you do… and cherishes themselves too. The Beltane fire helps us to burn away the old, the rigid, the now stale old harnesses of the ‘past’. Being with parts of you who have reactions to this process is important on this and every day…

This poem I composed two years ago and it still stands as one of my deepest, as my soul so knows Beltane from many sides of it and many roles within it. I feel personal themes emerging this year of letting in the bigness of this soul within me that knows how to gestate in inner healing processes and celebrate the emergence of a new sense of my bigness and desire to serve.

I dedicate this poem and all of the frequencies within it this year to my beloved husband/mate Gabriel Solais with whom I share my heart, body and soul and many exquisite layers of each, and I dedicate it to my beloved Inner Masculine too, who has been and always will be an inner rock for my feminine parts to lean into. ❤

I dedicate it to YOU as well, seeker of heart and soul, that you’ll find what’s next for you on your sacred path becoming revealed to you on a deeper level, whether wrapped in self-mateship or mateship with an other.

~

This Beltane Call, For The Love Of US

by Kalayna Solais

Beloved that you are,

When the smoke clears

on life’s regulating ways

and gives way to the undulating meadows

of new love’s first spring,

there I’ll be

standing in the light

of the sun shining above me,

firm in the ground I walk on

yet lightly walking toward your ready stance,

singing a song

we will both remember.

In Beltane’s past, my love

we dined and danced

and brought together our intertwining

everythings

to mingle in the love light

of the divine masculine and feminine dawnings.

In Beltane’s new arrivals, love

we’ll linger long

in embraces for only us to feel

in the eye of the mind’s connection

until the refreshing breath

of a crisp and ripe chapter

brings us closer

in all elements of this life’s wanderings.

In myself I stay here for you, love

finding more treasure long buried

to show you

in vulnerable ownership

echoing the also deep claim

you have inside of you for you.

The winds of change

and graspings of renewing tides

grip at our thrown-about clothing

to move us closer

to the edges

that keep US alive…

Together we will meet, my beloved

and there we will find

what we have been searching for…

a counterpart

not to bind, but to bond

not to cling, but to sing

not stifle with duty

but to bring out with bounding life’s alterations and celebrations…

of each new movement

here…

Bring your mountains out to greet the new day, love

and see the power of our sunshines mingling

on a new insatiable appetite

of a love reunited

in a way that was agreed to

long ago and yet NOW too.

Even NOW I make a vow to you,

to be all the more loyal to myself

and dedicate overflow to you

to what we will create together

in our messy masses of alchemical baths

and swooning passes.

Love, when we do meet again

here

I will dress the moon in your honor

and harness the sun’s rays for your Kingdom to come

and our world that is being reborn…

On this Beltane celebration day,

As I ache for you

I prepare that place in my heart

that is you-shaped

where you already live…

and that place in my body’s life

where your essence will connect

so much

oh, so much…

with mine.

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Individuating From Birth Family Guided Meditation: ‘Discover’ Vlog Series With Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

Healing, awakening, becoming who you are meant to be is a process with many layers, reactions, feelings, openings, and completions.

Often this process leads us to a necessary individuation from birth family as well as other significant relationships we have in our lives.

This process of finding your identity apart from the one which your birth family primarily knows you to have is sacred, tender, and often very challenging.

As Gabriel and I explore in this video, there are many parts with many different needs and reactions around this process. Ultimately, it is a process of finding yourself, discovering what the most self-loving choices are for you and your path, and letting go of relationships that no longer resonate, all at a rate and pace that is manageable for your parts and for you as a growing, healing, and ascending heart and soul.

About halfway through the video we lead a guided meditation to help you connect with your Inner Protector, who will likely have strong feelings about this topic and process, and the part(s) of you that are most anchored into birth family in some way, shape, or form.

The biggest benefit to taking on and letting in this process of individuating from birth family is what you’ll discover about yourself and what you really want in ALL of your relationships. The vacancy created by letting go of relationships that don’t match your frequency and path can eventually be filled by relationships that DO resonate with where and who you ARE as an ever-shifting and awakening being.

Follow-up questions you can ask your Inner Protector and the part(s) of you that you met during the meditation:

What is hard about the relationship with birth family?

What is good about the relationship with birth family?

What is the fear of taking space from birth family?

What would be good about it?

For more about support through SoulFullHeart sessions, visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤

Much love!

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart .

Loving UP Your Body-Vessel

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

It has become so important to love the body beyond any measurements, beyond any sense of “not good enough”, beyond any shame once held by parts of you about looking this way instead of that way.

For years parts of me have judged and battled with my body and body image. They have especially struggled with accepting my legs, which have always been bigger, and my tendency to yo-yo a bit in my weight.

Parts of me have judged themselves for eating emotionally, for continuing to make food mean ‘love’ somehow. They have struggled so much over the years with relating to food more so as survival and even something not as necessary as we are taught it is.

Even in this world of spirituality and Ascension consciousness, there is a tendency for parts of us to judge the body for not yet being ‘light body’ worthy or for going through the many changes and shifts it needs to go through as we continue to transition into crystalline forms.

The body reflects the emotional reality, always, and this manifests in so many different ways, giving us so much valuable information to be with and digest.

These judgements come often from an Inner Punisher part inside of you that is concerned about sticking out, about you inhabiting your leadership, about Ascension on all levels.

For more about the Inner Punisher, here is a video from Jelelle where she also leads a guided meditation to connect with this part of you:

They criticize and poke because it means love to them somehow. It helps them feel empowered, ironically, because in the judgements of self is a defense against judgements from others. A preemptive strike within that hurts you first before someone else can hurt you. Wow. It might sound convoluted but if you really feel this one, it’s very true, and often unaddressed or felt through with love and self-compassion. The Inner Punisher does not respond well to more punishment… this energy can only transmute with love.

Here is a guided meditation co-created by Gabriel and I, narrated by Gabriel, that you could use as another tool to connect with this part of you:

This part is so ingrained in our 3D Self that it’s become natural to feel the punishment that becomes a white noise in our lives, always sort of there yet so naturalized we hardly notice how much it’s bringing our frequency down. This is so one of the major pieces that needs to shift into love in the 3D Self before this Self, this version of you, can really start to integrate and move into higher frequencies consistently.

I’m sharing this photo today because it hallmarks a new beginning for me and an outing too.

I no longer want to subscribe to the adage of needing to look a certain way and I don’t want parts of me to feel this way about themselves either.

I no longer want to hide how my body looks because it doesn’t comply with typical beauty standards.

I suspect my body will continue to go through more changes through my own personal Ascension process and to truly be IN it without feeling like I have to force it to be one way or another in order to be worthy of anyone’s love let alone my own, is my deepest intention in this moment.

Our bodies are part of our Ascension journey… to honour and love them UP, even as they are now, is so, so important.

Much love to you and YOUR beautiful vessel too! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Feeling is Healing

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

Healing and awakening are very often incredibly difficult things to do. It’s not always high frequency, good vibes, and love and light. It’s diving deep into the shadow, letting go of what once meant everything to you, and realizing what needs to be shed and felt in order to continue your growth.

I had a day today where I felt like the last thing I wanted to do was heal and grow. I felt a deep sadness that, when in the middle of it, feels immovable and permanent. It was a process that required many rounds of tears that I couldn’t quite place. They were triggered by something specific, but were clearly about something much larger.

A part of me didn’t care where they came from to be honest, and just wanted to feel sad. She wanted to medicate all of the sadness away and forget about getting to the other side of it. But even though it was hard to feel in the moment, I knew that each time I felt this sorrow, I was healing something deep on a bigger scale.

Each tear that drops from our eyes, each feeling of unworthiness, anger and fear, each time we feel how hard it is to be here as deeply feeling humans, we feel something for everyone else in the world. We cry for every human – past, present and future, for every timeline that affects our here and now, every one we are surrounded by and touch every day.

Everything we feel is sacred and as difficult as it may be, your desire to feel it rather than suppress it is changing the world. We may not be able to rid ourselves of our suffering immediately and certainly not for everyone, but each choice we make towards love (including feeling how far we seem to be from it) is making an impact collectively.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving UP And Integrating Your ‘3D Self’

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Solais

It’s a very real process, integrating and loving UP the ‘3D Self’… even if you feel like don’t have one anymore, sometimes the triggers are still there, the anchors back into defensive, charged, or even diffusive 3D frequencies sometimes still become activated, and all that means is that there is understandably still something there, some part(s) of you inside of you that need the love you’ve been downloading to reach them and help them ascend WITH you.

It’s become ‘normal’ for me to feel waves of activations and higher timeline shifts bring up what still needs to be felt and integrated. Sometimes a deeper reaction from a part of me stays hidden for a while beneath the bliss, yet eventually these parts have to surface. I find sometimes that a part of me has buried itself out of shame for still feeling the way it does about certain things, wanting to transmute itself without asking for me directly or asking to land its uncertainties and lingering pain in my heart. Yet my parts can’t actually stay in this place for too long. They leak out or jump out sometimes and if I don’t catch what’s going on, usually someone else who is close to me will and the mirror that I need will be offered.

Specifically for me, I’m talking about my latest process with a part that I’m feeling is the embodiment of my 3D Self right now. She goes by the name I went by for the majority of my life. I realized that she still holds so much pain about my/our physical body, our image, wanting to look a certain way and never feeling happy about it and actually very often feeling disempowered. She has held this energy for so many years. There’s an acute self-consciousness in her that I have to deeply feel and hold right now, especially as I embrace being a leader and a vulnerable one at that, and move forward with serving love. She needs the love I want to serve to land in her. There’s a cost if it doesn’t… if I don’t embrace and feel her, I’m incomplete in a way, and serving from a place of vacant self love in at least the physical regard, though I also suspect she holds pain about spiritual access, whether or not we truly have the skills needed to serve, etc.

I can only keep holding and honouring her deeply as I’ve been practicing with all of my parts for many years now. There’s no room in me to vilify or shame her for still being ‘here’ and not having completely integrated yet, though I get that another part of me has done this in moments or at least tried to help her stay buried instead of healed.

It feels like it’s so often the 3D Self that gets neglected when anyone pursues being a leader of any kind… especially when we’re talking about leading the way through Ascension and deep healing. But nothing has ever deeply transmuted or healed without love. Neglect begets more trauma and often some form of sabotage of the higher timeline too.

I feel this part’s edges and curves… I feel her loves and her strong dislikes…. I feel her reactions and together we are realizing where they’re coming from. Now we get to find our way through the forest together and help her move into something brand new that she has never deeply believed was possible.

The pathway to true Ascension is through the heart. The humility of the inner process that brings you home to yourself over and over again. This is what we’re here to remember and live into, honouring all that we are and have been as we live into who and what we are becoming every day. ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Discover Vlog: Integrating Awakenings

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

By Kalayna Solais

Awakening experiences can bring you to the highest highs and the lowest lows. They offer openings and expansion of your consciousness and awareness of the world and the multi-verse. Yet, even with these beautiful and fascinating experiences, your humanity and grounding in your life needs to catch up and somehow become integrated with what you’re downloading.

In this video with me, you are invited to feel into the ways in which you can integrate your awakening experiences with your life in order to actually bring in more awakenings and a new experience of what’s possible in your daily life on Gaia.

I also share about my personal process with growing, healing, and integrating through my awakening experiences from an early age and what life has taught me about moving through life with your awakening experiences in tow… not put away or compartmentalized.

Much love! ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

4/4: Reminder Of Divine Love & Support During Intense Phases

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

So much of who we are going to be on the other side of this lengthy and often intense Ascension process is shrouded in uncertainty. I don’t get that we’re actually meant to ‘know’ much about this bigger picture of who we are and are not. Just like a toddler learning to toddle, so we are love itself learning how to love again.

We cannot avoid the trips and falls, but we can keep getting back up, building strength, growing resolve, and choosing to keep seeing the world differently… especially the world within each of us, learning about ourselves and others along the way.

I remember the first time I was given this picture by the Divine of a toddler learning to walk… I was on a ‘break’ from my SoulFullHeart process, taking space to be on my own solo adventure in Mexico. It was my birthday. I felt so sad… so many tears coming up, with parts of me that felt like they were failing. Feeling so lonely and missing those I had been so close to but was now pushing away from out of a need to grow ‘on my own’ for a while.

I remember laying in bed, sobbing, and being offered this picture of a mother and father bending down at one side of the room, calling to the little girl in front of them to keep getting back up again and to take that next step. She kept falling down but eventually got to them and together they celebrated this incredible milestone of ‘first steps’.

The Divine offered me the sense that I was the toddler in this picture, that everyone must learn to walk before they can run and that this is exactly the process of healing, evolving, and growing on every level that everyone must be with. I was offered that the Divine has infinite patience for this process, celebrating every aspect of it… every breakthrough, realization, or even ‘fall’ we endure as we all learn to get back up again, trust again, and believe in love again.

More tears came as I felt the infinite love and support I was surrounded by, especially during a time when parts of me felt so much self-punishment around the sabotage of an old life picture and a feeling like I was doing everything I ‘shouldn’t’. I felt so comforted by this message and especially felt the young parts of me that had been caught in the cross-fire of all of the recent changes, landing in the loving laps of the Divine Mother and Father, both.

If we all, in this very humbling process of Ascension, can remember that in the bigger picture we really ARE all ‘toddlers’ in many ways, we can go back to the feeling our souls so know of being loved for everything we ARE, even when it might feel like the world has gone dark and there is nothing left of love or goodness.

No matter how often we may seem to fall into more cycles of death and rebirth, thrashing out about this or that, feeling the cries of the world, or feeling the cries of our inner world, this is all part of the picture of learning to walk in love again. We do get to point out what isn’t love and sometimes that comes with charge and contention. Yet, we do get to find the softness and vulnerability again too, that often comes from the tender and usually rather young parts inside that are so ready to be connected to love again, to help bridge YOU and other parts of you back to love again, and to not only be healed but offer healing to others too.

It may feel sometimes like you are stumbling, fumbling, tumbling on your way back to love… yet the invitation is always there to begin to feel this process differently, to feel the parts of you that have a hard time letting this in and that are used to feeling so much punishment/criticism instead…. to feel the young parts too, like the Inner Child or Inner Teenager, who have been affected by this energy and who need so much to get back to the roots of love. It’s times like these when so much is perhaps moving through and shifting in your life, that remembering humility is the key to walking with it instead of running away from it, and extracting all of the gifts from every experience you may find yourself in. ❤

Much love… ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Moving Out Of Resentment & Into Forgiveness, Starting From Within

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

We are being invited to move into frequencies of open hearted remorse AND forgiveness at increasing rates now. Moving out of bitterness and resentment, not as a bypass of these feelings, yet with an acknowledgement of the parts of you that feel these denser, edgier things and WHY. Discovering the why source of the resentment (hurt covered over by self protective rage usually) inside of you allows for an accelerated movement into vulnerability.

Our Inner Protectors can get ‘parked’ in resentments with a looping pattern of shame and blame (both inside of us and toward our ‘perpetuators”.) The Inner Punisher joins in to the ‘fight’ and can build quite a strong case to keep the resentments boiling and toiling….often for years after the actual circumstances and conflicts.

But there is a cost to holding onto resentments, bitterness, grudges, etc. remaining inside of you. The cost is to the depth of which you can experience returning to love essence frequencies again. The cost is to the sensitive and precious Inner Child who literally feels heart break at ANY of these harsh and fear-based frequencies transacting toward them (this is what was so often experienced in childhood.) The cost is to experiencing your BIGNESS that can forgive in an instant both yourself and others.

These bitternesses/resentments are 3D and lower 4D frequencies that are aching for healing and transmutation now…especially as they live inside of the wounded masculine within us all and the collective. Holding onto these perceived resentments may feel like a ‘win’ in the moment to the part of you defending itself….yet it is ultimately a ‘loss’ for love transaction.

This process of forgiveness has to start from within. Going within to feel where the resentments exist and shimmer between parts of you allows for less projection of this outward toward others….and less drawing of situations that bring this up and create this energy with others. Resentments can run deep between an inner mother and an inner father for example, as often templated by birth parent relationships. Also between an overly protective Protector/Punisher part and an Inner Child/Teenager there can be big resentments.

This playout can also be HUGELY karmic, with many patterns of this expressing out in many timelines/lifetimes in different scenarios of betrayal, persecution, murder/killing, etc. Connecting with your Metasouls (soul fragments) in these lifetimes and really feeling/healing their experiences of these cycles can lighten up the experience in this life too and the drawing of more situations like this.

Being an ambassador of love to these inner relationships and other timelines/lifetimes experiences, offering much diplomatic and compassion space holding for each of these parts of you allows them to let go and truly move on.

We are ALL being invited to let go of the old hurts and the old patterns of shaming and blaming, both inside and with others. The Divine Mother offers a beautiful template of this forgiveness that also embodies remorse and compassion.  Lean into Her energy as She offers forgiveness and compassion to ALL parts of you and you can then extend it toward yourself and others too.

This is my 33 Day Deepen series offering many guided meditations to begin this compassionate space holding and healing for this life and other lifetimes too: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Gabriel Solais and I will be co-hosting a live stream tomorrow on April 3rd here on FB at 10:00am PST to digest the March energies we’ve experienced and feel into April energies too!

1:1 sessions available to feel, heal, and reveal! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

March Clears Way For Deepening Process During April Frequencies

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling a deep movement that wants to go even deeper into the trust I need personally for the unfolding of the next (and higher) timeline…. I’m sure many of you can relate to this feeling too, especially as March clears and we can sort through the debris and intensity of what moved and is still moving through.

April feels like we will have some more balancing possible, yet maybe not for too long… As the burning and learning process of this past month continues to unfold. I feel like we are being expedited now, brought through what is no longer necessary for our next phases of our personal growth as we are invited to hunker down and feel within what truly needs to move, heal, and be loved UP.

I feel so much the impermanence of everything… Every relationship, geography, career/job, physical weight/look of the body, and even spiritual beliefs and what resonates. I feel how every single relationship to anything or anyone in our lives is invited to be held with this lens and we are all invited to keep holding the parts of us that are afraid of change and letting go, or even letting in deeper what is already in motion in our lives.

I’m very much feeling my own process in all of what I just offered… How much deeper I need to be able to trust what happens next and lead my parts into a deeper trust too…. In me, in the Divine, in love itself.

April is here, March is ‘over’…. It’s time to move on from what was to fully experience what IS and allow the unfolding of what will be.

If you need support during this time, Jelelle, Gabriel and myself all offer catalytic and empowering space-holding through one-on-one sessions: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Much love!

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.